As parents, you probably saw your young son or daughter argue with another child about a toy. You then told them how important it was to share. Yet, now that you are divorcing, sharing may not seem so natural.
Working out custody arrangements can be one of the most challenging parts of a divorce. As loving parents, neither of you wants to spend too much time apart from your kids. It can lead to heated battles where you both try to show a court how you are the better parent in order to “win” custody.
The problem with you winning is the other person must lose. What is more, regardless of which of you “wins,” your child is likely to lose.
Focus on how you share custody after a divorce
Children win when both parents continue to play a prominent role in their life. Unless your spouse is a danger to your child, you need to focus on finding a way to work together to raise your child. You will no longer be spouses, but you will always be co-parents at least until your child turns 18 and can look after themself in the eyes of the law.
Co-parenting is typically better for adults as well as children. It halves your responsibility, freeing time and mental energy to pursue other things. Be that furthering your career, catching up on sleep or finding someone else to warm your bed at night.
It can be hard to keep emotions out of divorce proceedings. Getting help to focus on the legal issues will increase the chance you find a custody solution that everyone considers a success.